Ghostly Visits, Spring is Coming, and I'm a Big Girl Now

 

Well, the beautiful weekend days are here again. I love these days. Of course, our weekend begins on Thursday and ends on Sunday, giving sweet man four days off instead of the traditional two. He has retired as a programmer, and yet volunteers for hospice service, plus works three days a week helping veterans through the VA in Roseburg. The man keeps himself busy. 

Our weekend began on Thursday, as I said. On Terry's way home from work on Wednesday, I asked him to swing into Safeway and pick up some groceries I ordered online. He drove to the supermarket after work, parked in the "pick up" section, and waited for them to bring the groceries out. Once the bags were loaded, he drove them home where we could put the refrigerated items where they belonged. 

I ordered a package of "thin cut" steak for dinner. The idea of having steak and baked potatoes sounded so good. We don't eat tons of steak, but once in a while, it always makes a good choice for dinner. Steak is something I can cook from my wheelchair and the potatoes can be slathered in butter, salt, and pepper, and then wrapped in foil to bake in the oven for about 40 minutes to perfection. 

Ripping open the package of "thin cut" steak, my jaw dropped. These pieces of I-don't-know-what were beyond the description of "thin cut." Each one was paper thin. I guess they were steak. Not even certain of what section of the cow they came from. 

 Not complete slabs of beef, but literally paper thin pieces you might find in a salad or possibly in a slider. It was truly pathetic specimens of what I consider steak. I don't know where we went wrong. It could have been the shopper who put it into the cart, choosing the wrong package. Or, and most likely, I missed something on the description when I read it online. 

Terry and I made light of the slivers of steak, putting them on the plate alongside the side dishes. The phantom steak gave us a good laugh though, and it tasted okay. It sure left me wanting more. I will definitely be a lot more careful when shopping online for the entree I choose, but the ability to grocery shop online is a godsend.  

Steak, potatoes, and corn were the choices for tonight. I completed the task of getting everything cooked, and off we went into the living room to watch our final episodes of the murder mystery show, "Castle." We gnawed on our shoe-leather steak, enjoyed the butter oozing from the baked potatoes, and definitely liked the corn. Our show was great, as it usually is. We have a few episodes left and that's it. Time to find another good series or set of movies to keep us occupied. 

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So, one of the posts we created last week described a stew I cooked for dinner that night. It sounded good and since I had not been home for a long time, due to healing at my daughter's house, I thought it was a wonderful idea to share a good meal with my hubby. Turned out, it was a wonderful idea. The stew was amazing, felt healthy, and made us feel as though we had actually eaten to maintain that health. But during that post, there was one piece of the entry I avoided writing. I will finally share the experience now and do hope and pray that our readers don't think I have lost my mental faculties.  

I was dumbfounded and quite unsure of what had happened and worse than that, how do I describe it to someone else? I did need to have some time to process the experience. Yes, I still do have a concern of what others think of me, although none of us should hold that possible outlook from others. But most of us still tend to do just that. So, with fingers crossed and the hope nobody considers me daft, here I go. Because this blog is meant for Terry and I to keep our memories organized, I'm going to add it, damn the consequences. 

I'm going to share the story, my story, and hopefully nobody will disbelieve the tale to a point where you never join us again. I am going to tell the tale, share my truth, and hope for the best. To remain true to my husband and I, the story will unfold here before I do forget the details. No offense, but writing the experience down is to remain faithful to Terry and I alone. Yes, I am going to publish it, making it public and out there for others to read, but it does not mean my "job" also includes defending the experience nor does it entail making others believe me. As the saying goes, "It is what it is." 

While in the kitchen the evening I was cooking the stew, I was slicing and dicing vegetables for about an hour. I finished the onion, grabbed the stalks of celery, and sliced off the top and bottom of each stalk. I ran all of the cut stalks under water to remove any residue. Each stalk was put onto the cutting board and I began to cut thin slices for the dish. 

Suddenly, my left shoulder blade warmed. I moved my shirt around, rubbing it across the skin in that area to see if I could chalk it up to my shirt being warmed up in that spot. After moving it around, it failed to get rid of the warmth over the area. 

I spent a couple of minutes focused on the feeling. The warmth came with a slight pressure, as though someone was touching my back, warming the skin because their own skin was warm. As quickly as it came, it was gone. It was as though the hand had been lifted. With a feeling of dread, I turned quickly to see if I could catch the culprit. Nobody was behind me, thank God. Nobody should have been there, as I was home alone that day. 

I sat in my wheelchair, feeling a wave of goosebumps rise to support the emotion of fear. My mind began to examine the facts to see what may have just occurred. It was definitely not that spot on my shirt, so that theory was out. Nobody was behind me, at least in solid, human form. That was out. There are no heating vents or any type of warming gadget in that area of the kitchen. The vent is across the room, never shooting heat toward the counters. Vents in this home are flush in the flooring, all aimed toward the ceiling to circulate the heat as they should. My brain had shut down beyond that. Crickets. I have no idea. 

Not understanding what it could be, my mind brought me to Harry, our ghostly basement entity. While we have never really felt Harry, we had bottles and a vase thrown across the walkway into the kitchen, aimed at us. We have experienced lights in the cellar turning on out of the blue. Could it be our "Harry" had moved up into the kitchen this time? Or maybe someone else who is trying to either frighten us or play tricks on us or possibly making an attempt to get our attention so they can leave a message or make us understand something? At this point, who knows? 

I began to cut more vegetables while asking some questions out loud, to myself and to whatever or whomever that may have been. Yes, my mouth opened, and in disbelief, my voice actually blurted out the query without hesitation. If something or someone would have answered, I probably would have to wear diapers for a while. I'm pretty sure I would have lost control. 

"Is anybody here? Is someone trying to get my attention? If so, please touch my back again to let me know you are here." My heart pounded hard as I received my reply. The left shoulder blade was touched again, leaving a very warm place where the hand was pressed. 

I was not sure if I wanted to throw up, cry, or remain calm. I asked to be touched and I sure got what I asked for. The hand lifted once more after pressing it against my skin for a couple of moments. While the hand remained on my back, I was shaking, but sat as still and as quiet as I could. I concentrated on that touch, the warmth and gentleness of the touch. This time I did realize it felt like a hand. A warm hand resting there, as if to calm and quiet me. Nothing to fear. Nothing to freak out over. No pain. Nothing but warmth and a caring impression on my skin. That was when the test actually began. 

"As I name off people, can you please touch me if you are here?" I began to name off my dad by his full name, followed by my paternal grandparents. My maternal grandparents, all with no reply. I started in on Terry's parents; mom, stepfather, and his father's name. Once more, nothing. Again, I made an attempt to find out if the activity was coming from someone trying to get a message to one of us ... I asked if it was other people in both our lives who had passed away and again, nothing.  

Going back to cutting up vegetables, my mind was still on who that may have been or if it was some fluke. It sure had a warm imprint of a hand along my shoulder blade and seemed to react to the request to have it touch me if it was beside me. Who knows? Maybe it was absolutely nothing besides my muscle in that area of my body warming for whatever reason. The shirt I had on never moved, so I do know it was not the material rubbing to warm that area of my back. 

I don't know what the actual causation was, but what I do know is the action itself was not caused by clothing or angled heating vents. It was not simply fantasized in my mind either. It did happen. It has not happened since, but I do know that I was left with a feeling of relief when I told Terry and he believed me, when I was concerned the man would think I'm nuts. Either that, or he's a very good actor and didn't want to hurt my feelings. Either way, he made me feel safe in being able to share things like the experience I had without putting me down or my being the brunt of a joke of some kind. 

With that being said, I feel better getting it down into words to recall the memory. Not that I think I will forget it in its entirety, but the details are important to keep the memory alive. That does help when looking back on the experience in future years. 

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So, back to the rest of our week and weekend such as it is. We watched a couple of films in our spare time and Mallory came over on Saturday for our Harry Potter movie marathon. We watched two and three of the franchise today; The Chamber of Secrets and The Prisoner of Azkaban, respectively.

 Dinner consisted of three order from Burrito Vaquero. Mallory ordered a taco combination dinner, Terry requested a double burrito meal, and I asked for the double tamale combo. All three came with refried beans and the traditional Spanish rice. 

We had a burrito there before and it was very good, but tonight it was awful. Terry's burritos were served wet, although he simply wanted the regular dry burrito order. His burritos were not only covered in sauce, but were only carne asada. Nothing else added such as rice, beans, onions, or any other typical burrito fillings. 

Mallory ordered the taco combo meal. She was barely able to eat her food, although she stopped before she completed the meal entirely. She said it was the shredded beef she asked for, but there were so many onions on each taco that it was mostly onion. It was overpowering and really ruined the end result. 

My meal was okay, but just mediocre. The tamales were real dry and difficult to get down. I know that most tamales are fairly dry, but these were to the extent that each tamale was hard to swallow. I ate one and a couple of bites from the other. 

Like I said, we have grabbed some burritos through the drive thru before, but this time, the consensus was that we will never return to that restaurant again. As I write these words, my stomach is still unsettled from eating that meal. 

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Last weekend, Terry helped me down the ramp and we went shopping. Grocery shopping is a pain in the ass for the most part, although it's typically more fun with someone else. Terry does not mind shopping, but prefers if I can do it. Although lately I can't, so he has stepped up and taken over. He was looking forward to the day we had the ramp and could get out together. 

As I was perusing the aisles of the store, I found a new series of drink that is mind blowing. I used to drink Ice, the sugar free drink. Most of them are flavorful and can be nice in place of my usual ice water. It has been about a year since I have picked up an Ice drink though, until I drove the electric cart past the end cap and something caught my eye. 

Bottle after bottle sat on the metal shelf, but there were three drinks that caught my eye. Those three types of drink boasted the brand "Starburst" on the label. I had to stop. I love Starburst, but again, it's a candy I don't eat any longer because of the sugar content. Cherry, orange, and lemon stood out on the labels and I was smiling. 

Sugar free Ice drink without sugar? I'm so in love, outside of my human relationship. Sorry, babe.

 I grabbed one Starburst cherry, one orange, and one lemon to test them out. I broke into them immediately when I returned home. They were so good! Each one held a tart flavor just like their Starburst candy predecessor, including the touch of a cream flavor, creating a beautiful creamsicle taste. One of my favorite things when eating ice cream is an orange creamsicle. 

So I found myself buying more when I shopped online for the facsimile of steaks and other stuff. They are so good that it's hard to keep them around the house. Mallory, Terry, and I are hooked. Since they contain no sugar, it's even better. 

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Terry's birthday is coming up next month and he had shown me this t-shirt design the other day on Facebook. I had to get it for him. Yes, he did open it already, just in case shirts don't fit, I have time to send them back. He opened it and loved it. I thought the design was comical. 

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As the week progresses, Kit is getting cuddly in the chair. My foot is healing more each day and I'm excited! Here, it is dry and skin is peeling, but this too has changed in the past several days. I am a big kid now! In this new boot, I have been practicing walking with the walker instead of being in the chair. As I use the walker, I am putting more and more weight on the foot. This opened up a whole new world for us. 

We moved the commode from the office into our bathroom. Now I can use the regular toilet, with the commode being a riser that sits over the permanent toilet. This means transferring is much safer and does not leave the struggling to get from the lower positioned porcelain commode back onto the walker once I'm done. 

I worked with the therapist to "crab walk" into the bathroom, using the walker. This opens up the chance to shower in the bathroom too. No more sponge bathing and washing my hair in the kitchen sink! 

I ordered a transfer bench for the tub. This bench sits halfway in and halfway out of the tub, giving me a safe way to sit and then slide into the tub. I took my first actual shower on Friday, March 14, 2024. Yes, the date is huge to me, as I have had kitchen sink scrub downs since I've been home. I had no choice. 

Now that I have learned the crab walk in the walker, this also means I can get into my bedroom and sleep in my own bed instead of snoozing on the couch. Training that my physical therapist is giving me has been the key to living my life more by being fully functioning in the home. Well, I guess not fully functioning, but very close to it. There are some things I still cannot do and I do need help in doing them. 

I have learned how to maneuver the chair enough to get most places in the house now, along with being able to use the walker into those places the chair won't fit. Now that I can put some weight on that foot, I can balance and feel much more safe and comfortable. The ankle tends to hurt if I overdo the walking, but it's getting there. 

But Friday night was shower night. The shower bench arrived. I tore the box open and began to put the bench together. Once Terry was in the house, I positioned myself in the chair, with walker in front of me to enable myself to begin that silly crab walk with the walker. Each time I move forward, I am putting some weight down on my foot now. It does get a bit sore by the time the day is complete, but it will just take time. 

I have taken the ability to walk for granted. Each step I took before this accident was precious in hindsight. It has been months since I have been able to walk or run the way I used to. Now my wish is that the ankle heals well enough to get back to the walking ability I had, without a glitch. I will never take walking for granted again. That, I can promise myself. 

Before I showered on Friday, the scars were looking better, but the dry skin was still horrible. I was constantly rubbing the foot and ankle with a wet washcloth to help remove the dry, flaky skin. You should never pull on skin that is flaking off of your body, as it can tear into fresh skin and create tears or sores.  

The joy I have that the incision on each side of my ankle has healed nicely is immense. During the healing, I could feel the stitches rubbing on the cast. Now, the stitches have been removed and the incision sites are actually getting air and are healing so much faster. The marks from the stitches being there are actually a very light pink now. 

After taking the shower on Friday, the peeling skin has cleaned up a lot as well. The entire process is moving right along, so far without a hitch. It is so nice to have my regular toilet, shower, and bed back in my life now though. Things are really looking up. Terry and I are excited that our lives are returning to normal once again. 

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Terry has not allowed our routine to falter, even during all of the moving and the hospitalization and healing at Marina's home. Today is the 17th of March, and he has not forgotten our anniversary date. Today marks the ninth anniversary date of our marriage. He never forgets our flowers. He gives them to me, but in my mind they are reminiscent of our wedding day, the day we vowed to love each other until death do us part. That beautiful day we shared with our family, showing everyone how we love them and each other. The blending of our beautiful families. A day we will never forget. 

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The beautiful combination of a yellow rose and mum, blended with white mums, carnations and daisies create a bright, happy, awesome bouquet to remind us of our anniversary date. The flower arrangements come with an abundance of "I love you" sentiments each month, on top of the many I hear on a daily basis. I love that about us. He makes it clear and known that he loves me and I try to reciprocate. "I love you's" are thrown around the house more than dog hair rides on the breeze through our home. That's quite a lot, if you must know. 

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Okay, speaking of dog hair ... We were told by the veterinarian Togo sees that our furry baby boy has gained nine pounds! His harness was so tight that I had to remove it, permanently. He is out of notches to move the buckles to. Togo has hit the final mark on that poor harness and it's time to move on.

 He has a collar left on, but the harness feels more secure when we walk him. I knew his body was getting larger after a few weeks of being home, but I didn't think he had gained that much. Terry told me the dog had not eaten much when I was away, so I was concerned. Now he has "bloomed" and needs some assistance to get some weight off. So, our baby boy is on a diet. Togo now only gets one and a half cups of chow at night and all the carrots he wants. 

Mallory handed him a carrot the other day. He daintily chewed on the orange veggie, and spit the pieces out in front of him. She gave it to him again, and he finally ate it, but it was with a pure look of disgust on his face. The pup has disdain for the veggie realm. Give him meat, the natural choice for a Siberian husky, which is a working dog, and he's all over it. Carrots are not his choice for things to munch on, that's for sure. 

As the animal update for the week, not only has Togo gained weight, but Jasper is still boasting his sexy look. All the ladies love him. He's almost all blind, he's partially deaf, and his smile reflects his age. He has lost a few teeth so that his tongue is not held in any longer. It dangles, along with his brain at times. But the old guy is 16 years of age, so I give him a pass. He is still my beautiful boy in my heart and will always be. 

Kit is still Kit. Always into something. Since Bella has passed, this beautiful boy has become more loving though. He likes to come up and sleep on the couch by me during the day. Daddy's lap is his favorite still, where he gets plenty of pats and is told consistently, "I love my beautiful boy." Sure. Give him a larger head than he already has. Nice job, babe. 

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What is happening with this weather? Oh, my gosh! We had a gorgeous 74 degrees today, with 40 degrees tonight. The following three or four days we are slated to hit the 70s. Today was so warm and gorgeous! I opened the front door to let my furry old man outside to show his sexy self off to the ladies, and I almost didn't come back in. 

Of course, I cannot get completely outside, but just having that door open to get some fresh air is wonderful! What a true blessing. My mind was traveling far, far away, to a land of ocean breezes and the faint smell of cherry blossoms in bloom ... And what's that? Ugh. The faint smell of dog shit. Nothing more potent to knock you right back into reality. I couldn't drag the dog inside and shut the door quick enough.  

Between the blessings we all have, the realization of things we take for granted, and this gorgeous weather, the blooming of spring, a brand new season, life is great. Look at all that we have been given!

We all have people in our lives. Blessings galore. My spirit is soaring this week. My husband and I cannot be happier at this moment. We are enjoying our lives together and our separate lives as well. We do realize how blessed we are. 

Enjoy your blessings over the next week. Smile, knowing you are loved. You are enough. You are special. Don't just survive. Live, and live for the moment. Until the next post, please be safe. Love yourself and those in your life. Take some time out to focus on nature, as Mother Earth blooms into a new season, giving us the rebirth of all in our lives.