Gangsta Beatdowns & Pretty Flowers

My beautiful bouquet for December from my husband. He has made another perfect, wonderful choice. Every month he ensures I remember why we are an "us" and also to remind me how much he appreciates things I do for him. He also reciprocates tremendously. We do value and appreciate what each of us brings to the table in the relationship.  

***

Not only did Terry bring home an amazing bouquet of flowers to make me happy, but he saved me from a very horrible crime. I'm sure many of you can relate to this tale of wanting to commit murder. Yes, murder. Maybe you are capable of holding back the feeling of frustration to the point you want to beat something. If so, good for you. I have yet to reach that stage of enlightenment in terms of being a human being heading for that next level of wonderfulness. 

For those of you who know me, this may come as a shock. Before judging me and wishing my soul burn in hell, please hear me out. Printer. Need I say another word? Printer. What does that word conjure up in your mind? 

Three horrible, frustrating weeks of pulling my hair out, scratching my head until it's raw, and losing sleep because of images of printers attacking me at night. What could be wrong? I've tried everything to make it happy. I have even talked nicely to it. Begged it. I have gone into full blown submission to this printer to make an attempt to fix it to no avail. In fact, I thought I heard it laugh at me the other day. 

Our printer was hooked up. Connected and speaking the language of laptop. Printing out labels and letters and photos. Beautiful job too, I might add. Then one fateful night something happened. The printer went to the dark side. It became a horrible entity in this household. Nothing was done to injure it. I wasn't even using it. It went wild and completely on its own. 

The spool would click on at least 12 times per hour, printing page after page of tests. Testing the ink, the alignment, and my patience most of all. Constant printing. I felt like I had a drip of water falling to my forehead as a form of torture. Day after day ... drip, drip, drip. The noise the printer makes to print a page was ringing through my mind day after day after miserable day and I could hear it into the night. 

It became unbearable. I hated coming into my office. The constant printing forced me to remove the paper from the feed, ending the incessant operational sounds and dropping of paper onto the office floor. I finally had to unplug it, as it came on to search for paper to spit out at me about every 10 minutes, every. single. day. This bitch needed to go down. 

I was becoming almost gangster in my thoughts, picturing the printer in a field with no one around as I beat it inkless with a baseball bat. These images of fantasy brought me joy and satisfaction. Just give me one swing ...

I spent those three weeks in groups and forums, calling HP and following the suggestions given. Finally, it came to resetting my printer to factory settings. The complete overhaul of any and all things electrical. I winced as I pressed the "reset" on the laptop screen. I had done it. I killed it. The personality I knew and loved at one time gave way to nothingness. Now the printer sat and blinked at me as if it were mindless and innocent. And then came those eyes. Those eyes that stared at me each time I sat in my chair. Every single light on the printer lit up and began to blink. I know it did this to torture me. 

I made many attempts to give it life again, to no avail. Oh, I set it all up once more. It said it was connected to the network, but the lights ... oh, those horrid little lights were all flashing at once. It seemed nothing would stop them except unplugging the machine. 

 My nightmare was only getting worse as time went on. I unplugged it and plugged it back in. I tried resetting everything three times. I know the printer settings like the back of my hand now. But sometimes you just cannot kill dark energy coming from a soulless piece of plastic. 

But that was when Terry came to my rescue. With a swing of a sword (or actually a swipe of the credit card), he saved the day. What a hero! What a knight in shining armor as they say. He slayed the evil one and off it went to Goodwill. I know it's not yet finished, but there was something between my laptop and that system that was not quite right. All I know is it is out of my house, nightmares, and reach now. I can sleep at night. 

Terry saved the old printer from a good, gangster-style beatdown, that's for sure. The new one has all the soul of a sweet new toy that won't piss me off with each use or glance even. With a scanner, printing services, and a copier, I'm now ready to get on with my day without frustration and without having to wield a baseball bat to finish my tasks. Until the day this one dies, I'm looking forward to many happy hours of completion of duties. Here's hoping.

 But if you see me carrying something in my arms as I walk into a field, baseball hat on my head, and I'm swinging a bat along the way, mind ya business. I swear I will be 80 years of age, talking to myself. People may often catch utterances of, "Batter, batter, batter, s-s-swing batter," possibly followed by a few words that you should not be hearing, nor should an 80 year old be saying. But it is what it is. I figure if God has ever had a printer, he will understand the anger inside my soul for these units. I'd say it's a forgiven sin. 

***

We are getting ready to go to Eugene for our Christmas dinner gathering at Dawn's house. Marina and John will be joining us this year and for this holiday, as they were missing from the group on Thanksgiving. Now Mallory can't join us this time. She has Christmas with her mom's side of the family. She will spend some time on Christmas Eve with Terry and I though. All is good. 

Once again Dawn's home will be filled with love, laughter, and merriment. I can't wait. I genuinely love days like this. After Christmas will be my experimentation of various foods and sweets to prepare for the journey of opening the bakery in my home. Sweet Mama Macrae's will be opening sometime in April or May. I'm excited, nervous, and completely worried. I would like to keep it small so I can spend time baking, but enjoying life too.  

For the Christmas party, I would love to make some chocolate coconut pinwheel cookies. Terry's mother used to make them and he loved when she did! Replicating that recipe would be awesome. I've never made pinwheel cookies before but if they turn out well, they may become part of the menu of Sweet Mama Macrae's Cottage Bakery. We will see. 

***

Terry and I are relaxing this weekend and enjoying our days. Mallory came over yesterday to enjoy a couple of hours of our show, "Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction" with us and then we watched Terry's interview video. It released yesterday at 5:00 PM and it sounds pretty good!

It's awesome to see this part of his journey come to fruition, although writing a poetry book was nothing he had on his mind. 

His book is out and is being sold on Amazon and can be found here: 

In a Blink of Life's Eye

***

Leaving a home after delivering and I saw these bright red berries on a bush that had reds and greens and even browns in the leaves. Since today is the winter solstice, I thought I would post these photos because the presence of winter can often times be as beautiful as the summer solstice or spring solstice, at least where nature is concerned. 

In this photo, the juxtaposition isn't there when it comes to the color variation. The green makes a nice backdrop for the red berries in the first photo. 

On the way home from that delivery, I noticed the skies. Oh, my! 

I loved the yellows, grays, and even black. Excuse the societal clutter, such as the phone lines. Difficult to find a spot with those not in view when you're driving. 

After all of this amazing beauty, I come home to my fur babies and my man. Well, actually, I walked into the house and saw this:

Our poor couch. He is addicted to his beef and chicken stock now. He loves it when we pour a tiny bit over his food to flavor it for him. We do this with Togo the husky, and with Jasper the chihuahua. I even did it once for Kit the cat, but he wasn't quite as impressed. 

***

Today is Saturday. A typical day for both of us. Terry sits outside, enjoying the air and the cigar he is smoking. He loves to read books on his tablet as he sucks down a cigar or two. Me? I'm getting ready to leave to catch a delivery or two at least. I am still hanging on to this cold or whatever it is and seem to get worn out by the end of the day. It seems it's never ending lately. 

But onward we go through time. Tomorrow is my birthday. Mallory is coming over and the three of us will hang out for a while. The rest of the girls want to celebrate on Christmas, which is why we are going there on Christmas Day. We will join everyone for a wonderful Christmas dinner, with all the trimmings, and all the laughter and joy. 

***

Until our next post, here's to advancements and accolades through our lives, family, laughter, love, and sure enough, printers that work. 

We wish you all well and hope your preparation for the holidays is going well. To all of those having to deal with illness at this time, know that prayers of love and light are sent your way. Take care of yourself. Allow yourself to heal without overdoing things. We seem to believe we don't have time to heal and have to remain on the go. 

Bless all of you and thank you for reading the blog. 

Follow us. We've fallen and we can't get up!

@psychicpoet0188