Here Buddha Hold my Ears - I've Got This

If you read about our trip, you know how exhausted we were from all of the walking and standing in line for each ride, things to eat, coffee, and bathroom usage. Wow. What a trip it was though! Now our car needs a good strong bathing, vacuuming, and probably some hugs. I'm making that happen today actually. 

Needless to say, our weekend was very boring. Plenty of sleeping in and watching shows. We even took time out to watch Cool Runnings because it's a movie about bobsledding and the last two rides we were on were pretty much about bobsledding. Sitting in the car as you are twisting and turning from side to side. Awesome time! 

Terry placed his cherished light saber (still in the package), behind the bed to keep it safe. It's a metal light saber, not a plastic model of one. It is definitely a collector's item and will be kept in a safe place always. Of course, he has his light saber cup with the inside lighting up in a beautiful blue color. That he has up in the cupboard, ready for use. 

Me? I placed my Mickey Mouse bubble blowing machine up on top of my dresser to keep an eye on it. My ears? Well, I put my ears on top of one of my most beloved items in my Buddha. 

I thought Buddha looked great with the ears of baby Yoda. Not disrespecting but placing one special item with another special item. 

I do still play with my bubble machine too. Watching the colors change as the bubbles fly above me ... brings me back to childhood again. And there's nothing wrong with that. 

We are back to our normal selves and that is a good thing too. Making each other laugh, playing with our fur babies, and spending time doing our own thing too makes a happy life. 

Terry and I do miss his brother, Rick, and his wife, Brenda. 

I connected well with Brenda and have to say I wish I had about three or four more days to get to know more about her. 

But we are home, enjoying our space and our time together. Since Terry took all of the videos of the Disneyland rides, we deemed him as an Olympiad of smartphone photo taking. Of course, since I play around on AI quite a bit, I had to joke with him. 

And there he is. The world's finest videographer in mouse land. He kept the phone in his hands and managed to hang on while getting slammed up against the sides of the bobsled as he handled those curves like a boss. 

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Here it is, Monday morning again (June 29, 2026). We are almost into July already and with that being said, the area has experienced a few days of mild rain. Rain? In Oregon? Unheard of. Being this time of year though, it is uncommon. I guess we will see what the next few days and on into July brings us. We are set to move up into temperatures that are fitting for summer. We'll see. You never know. I like the cooler weather while running deliveries though. So, I am thankful. 

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Well, friends, a lot has happened since our posting on June 29. I have kept a secret from all of you out of respect for my husband. Even though we report our memories in a Psychic & a Poet Walk into a Bar, there will periodically be that event that we keep to ourselves too. Other than that, we are transparent with our lives, our memories, and those tiny details that are just not shareable. I'm sure you have some of those in your life as well. This one, we will share.

But before we get to the "big secret," I would like to share with you our new routine. Terry came to me last month (June) and asked if we could or should begin meditating every night to bring love, light, and healing to those around us and across the globe. I found this to be a joyful moment, as I love to meditate but Terry is an aphantasic, meaning he cannot voluntarily create images in his mind. This means if he was asked to visualize a safe space or the ocean to relax by, he could not do so. 

Aphantasia comes about when there is a brain injury or illness, or even a neurological event happens. Aphantasia is not fully understood either, but they do know that it involves differences in how the visual cortex and the related brain networks process and generate mental imagery. Only two percent to eight percent of people have aphantasia, while evidence suggests a genetic component as it is sometimes seen in familial situations. 

Since aphantasia can bring about difficulties in imagining places and people in the art of meditation, there are answers to the perplexing question of, "How can people with aphantasia meditate?" Even if Terry cannot imagine, he sure can come up with solutions to many problems. His ingenuity brought about some answers through research. Watching a video or two on how to get around the issue of being aphantasia and wanting to meditate came into his life. 

Working around the hurdle became a bump in the road that we ran right over and our nightly meditations began, with Terry offering healing love and light to the world and people we know through his intentions. He sets an intention to send his healing light to the world through words instead of pictures in his mind. Case closed and let the healing begin. 

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I do meditate, as I said, but I procrastinate and tend to veer off if I find something interesting online or with the pets when the meditation time comes around. With Terry wanting to meditate as well, he asks me if I am ready to take on our relaxing 15-minute session, and of course, I jump on the chance. It's like someone wanting to lose weight so they take on a weight loss partner to exercise with them. Always makes it easier. 

We lie on our bed, hold hands, and begin our session. It's a beautiful thing. Both of us are sending energy across the planet, to the people, the animal kingdom, and to the earth itself. It also creates a small timeframe for us to spend that time together too. It's a perfect activity. So, we began our meditation practice a while back and continue to do so every night. 

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The Big Secret

As I said, I have been holding back a secret. In fact, we held it back from our family members as well, that is, until last week. We found out Terry has prostate cancer. Yes, the horrible "C" word came across my ears through the urologist's voice, and I lost my shit. It's just the word itself that conjures up so much fear and that dreaded worry that your loved one will have to go through so much pain and suffering to eradicate the nasty cells from your body or it will be time for them to pass on. Neither is a good choice.

The other part of the story was that Terry had not told me yet, and he had known there was something in there a few months prior, but they weren't sure what it was. So, today was the day he called me at home and asked me to go to his appointment with him. I went, I heard, I cried. The thought of my love, my best friend, my partner in life suffering through one of the worst ways to heal in taking on the doses of radiation and/or chemo made me sick. Please God and archangels of light, please do not let my Terry die or have to suffer.

I managed to pull myself together as the Polish accented urologist informed me of how early we caught this and how well medical technology can handle cancer of the prostate so well now. I felt a bit better but still ... there is that worry, that fear, that hatred for such a vile disease that could take anyone at any time. 

Before we went to Disneyland, I dealt with the trauma of finding this out. I say "I" not because of any selfishness, as though Terry isn't suffering, but because he remained unnerved, stoic, and without any fear showing at all. I figured it might change when we got home and the shock wore off. But it didn't. 

Time passed. We prepared for the best or worst of what we learned. Well, I should say I was facing the realization it could end in any form. Who are we to pretend we know how it will all turn out?

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Please join us for our next blog post to find out the outcome of our experience. 

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This post is for Terry, my beloved partner and our divine relationship, and all of those who have suffered through or have lost a loved one from this horrid disease. Bless you all. 

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Terry & Vicki Macrae

A couple madly in love and taking one day at a time

But let the healing begin ...